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JUDGEMENT....Why we judge – and what we can do about it

Updated: Nov 6, 2018

We leap into judgement the instant we meet someone, or hear or see something. It’s instinctual and most of the time we don’t even know we’ve done it. It’s part of our little self, our 3D-ness. It’s as if we can’t help ourselves.

When we judge other people, it's as if we throw a net over them and pin labels on the net; then, unless we are willing to do something about it, the net and the labels keep them trapped there in our perception. The labels are available for us to read and re-read, so we can continue judging and blaming and shaming. And while we carry on doing this, it means that we don’t have to acknowledge that we have unconsciously selected these labels for others because they are the judgements we have of ourselves.

These self- judgements colour our thinking, our emotions, our behaviour. They are the bricks in our wall of separation…we have chosen to be besieged behind this wall, and we will fight blindly to defend it and ourselves.

So, where do these judgements come from? Where did they originate? Why is it so important to keep ourselves separate, to feel superior to or better than? What is it that is so life-threateningly terrifying about ‘the other’?

On one hand, separation is born of fear of some trauma – of being hurt somehow, of being abandoned – and so we remove (separate) ourselves before that can happen. Judging gives us justification for keeping ourselves apart, so we don’t get close and then face the possibility of being left. It is likely that we have no conscious recall of the underlying trauma, particularly if it happened when we were pre-verbal, or when it happened we chose to block it out for our own protection. Another possibility is that we may have chosen to bring forward from another existence the memory of a trauma so we can give ourselves the opportunity to clear it this lifetime.

On the other hand, maybe the root of this all lies so much deeper…in the separation from ‘home’ (wherever or whatever that means for us) or from our twin flame.

Whatever or whenever the cause, the question then becomes: What can we do about our judgements? How can we move from 3D instinctual reactivity to 5D responsiveness, when the wise, gentle, compassionate part of ourselves comes to the fore and we allow ourselves to stand in the other person’s shoes?

‘Everybody’s on their own journey’. It is so easy to hear or read those words and to nod wisely and know they’re true….our challenge however is to remember them when we busy judging that other person.

And we also need to remember that none of us is able to do anything about our own patterns of thinking and behaviour until we are ready to acknowledge them. Even then we have to be willing to do the work to clear them. If this is true for ourselves, how can we expect others to be or do differently? We have no idea what someone else came in to learn and release this lifetime…nor what triggers might encourage that process to begin for them.

Until we are willing to start our own journey through awareness to clearing, and ultimately to freedom, it’s as if we’re caught in our own net of self-judgements which colour everyone and everything else…we just can’t see the judgements we have of ourselves because we’re looking through the gaps in the mesh of our own net and therefore can’t see that the labels we pin on others are in fact mirrors of the ones pinned to our own net. And looking out at others protects us from looking inwards at ourselves and starting the process towards forgiveness and acceptance.

Two questions which keep sticking in my awareness: Why are we so much quicker to forgive others than we are to forgive ourselves? and What judgement lies at the core of that?

When you are ready - and willing - to clear and release some of your judgements, then there are two processes which you may find helpful: Forgive and Release, which works on the core and cause of trauma in this or other lifetimes, and Seer of Time which seeks to repair damage caused by the initial separation from the twin flame. You will find both of them on

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