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You cannot be a failure

When we decide to try something new or different - whether it's learning to dance or starting a new project - we find ourselves immersed in the four stages of learning (or competence). To use the analogy of learning to drive a car, the first stage is 'unconscious incompetence'—in other words, we don't know what we don't know, we just see other people driving effortlessly and assume it's simple. Then when we first get behind the wheel, we start to know just how much we have to learn—welcome to the second stage: 'conscious incompetence'. After much practice and reminding ourselves of everything we need to do: indicate, check rearview mirror, check side mirrors, watch out for other road users, mind our speed etc etc etc, we find ourselves in the third stage—'conscious competence'—in other words, we know what to do but we are still having to think about it. And then, one magic day we find we have driven to our destination without having to think about it—in other words, we have reached the fourth stage—'unconscious competence', where our actions become automatic.


So, how does this relate to it being impossible for us to be a failure? When we try out something new, we can expect not to succeed the first time (or times)...ever watched a toddler learning to walk? It's totally irrational for us, as adults, to expect to be expert instantly, and it's even more irrational for us to assume that, because our idea didn't work the first time, it is us that's the failure. Did Einstein feel he was a failure because he had to work to perfect his theories? Did Edison with the light bulb? Ask any author just how many rewrites they have to do before their book is printed, or any workshop presenter/teacher how many times they fine-tune their material—do they consider themselves a failure? Remember the original Moon shot constantly changed course—did it fail?


When we give ourselves the label of failure/not good enough/hopeless, then it's worth looking at the messages we've internalised from childhood or we have brought forward from other lifetimes....and doing the important clearing and healing work so we can move on in freedom, confidence and joy. After all, we chose to incarnate onto this planet so we could learn—and where's the learning if we could do everything perfectly first time? And where is the fun we can have finding out?

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